CITIZEN JOE

08.15 Episode 169
Airdate: February 18, 2005

For the second week in a row, O'Neill finds an intruder in his home. The nervous man pointing a gun at him is Joe Spencer, a barber from Indiana, who declares that O'Neill has ruined his life. Seven years ago, Joe had purchased an unusual etched black stone at a garage sale, and the instant he touched it, his mind saw vivid flashes of the stargate activation, and SG-1. He began sharing the adventures of the stone's images with his family and customers, and soon the whole town had heard the stories of a team of explorers known as SG-1 and their fearless leader Colonel Jack O'Neill.

Over the years, Joe continued to share the saga of SG-1, which was met at first with great enthusiasm, but as his customers began to lose interest, his wife, Sharlene, encouraged him to write the stories down instead. However, she became increasingly concerned as his obsession grew, his customers dwindled, and he began to insist that SG-1 and Colonel O'Neill were real. Seven years of writing and submitting his stories had only yielded 326 rejections, and eventually Joe lost his house, his business, and his wife, who pleaded with him to seek help for manic psychosis combined with grandiose delusions.

As Joe stands in O'Neill's kitchen, he insists he is not crazy, that he knows about the SGC, the Goa'uld, and O'Neill's fondness for the Simpsons. O'Neill brings Joe to the SGC where it is discovered that his stone matches one recovered from P3R-233, and that the pair works as a long-range communication device. Both Joe and O'Neill possess the Ancient gene, making their psychic link possible, and as Joe had witnessed O'Neill's adventures, O'Neill admits to experiencing visions of the life of a barber for seven years. Joe is reunited with Sharlene, but this time General O'Neill joins them, and begins to tell Sharlene an incredible story.

Story by: Robert C. Cooper
Teleplay by: Damian Kindler
Directed by: Andy Mikita

Guest Starring: Dan Castellaneta as Joe Spencer, Deborah Theaker as Sharlene Spencer, Eric Keenleyside as Fred, Louis Chirillo as Bert Simmons, Chad Krowchuk as Gordie Lowe, Alex Ferris as Andy Spencer, Mark Hansen as Older Andy Spencer, Andy Thompson as Calvin, Beatrice Zeilinger as Cindy Simmons

Reference: Ancient Communication Stone, Ancient Gene, Calvin, Fred, Garage Seller, Gordie Lowe, Passerby, Bert Simmons, Andy Spencer, Joe Spencer, Sharlene Spencer, Wormhole X-treme!

DESTINATIONS & INHABITANTS

NOTES OF INTEREST

• Both O'Neill and Joe Spencer share the Ancient gene - and an appreciation for the subtlety of Simpsons analogies.
• The stones are apparently a kind of Ancient long-range communication device allowing people to see events over great distances through a psychic connection.
• The first stone, discovered at a garage sale seven years earlier, had been found by the owner's grandfather on a dig in Egypt. The second stone was found among the artifacts on P3R-233 and brought back to Earth.
• O'Neill activated the link between the stones by picking up the second stone from P3R-233 that was being stored in the base archives at the SGC. Afterwards, all that would be required is a certain proximity to the stone for the connection to be activated.
• Wormhole X-treme! was canceled after one episode due to bad ratings.
• O'Neill's secret ingredient for his world-famous omelet is beer. But if you know that, he'll have to shoot you.

MEMORABLE REMARKS

• There's a secret ingredient. I can't tell you what it is, or I'd have to shoot you. [O'Neill]
  It's beer, isn't it? [Carter]
• "Furlings," they sound cute, like Ewoks. [Gordie]
• See, I'm not sure you should've sent in this one about Seth. It wasn't one of your best. [Gordie]
  They rejected "Hathor"? But it was gold! [Bert]
• You have a thing for the Simpsons, fishing, Mary Steenburgen, the color peridot, and you're a terrible ping pong player. [Joe]
  Well, first of all, Joe, I'm not a terrible ping pong player. [O'Neill]
• Between you and me, I totally see the analogy. Burns as Goa'uld... [Joe]
  Thank you! [O'Neill]
• Jack? [Daniel]
  He's a barber. [O'Neill]
  Broke into your house? [Daniel]
  Yeah. [O'Neill]
  Second week in a row. [Daniel]
  Mm-hmm. [O'Neill]
  Alarm. [Daniel]
  I'm thinking dog. [O'Neill]
  You could try locking your front door. [Joe]
• I know the hair makes you look different, but didn't you use to be more gold colored? [Joe]
• Bowling league Thursday nights? You got game, son. [O'Neill]

FOR THE RECORD

• Cameo: Bruce Woloshyn of Rainmaker - owner at the garage sale
• Popular Culture References:
  • Star Wars
    • Furlings. They sound cute. Like Ewoks.
  • The Simpsons
    • I totally see the analogy. Burns as Goa'uld...